Everyday Fears

Some things in life, which we usually take for granted and don’t think much about, really are potentially quite dangerous. For example, to get around from place to place, I am reliant on using public roads. Generally in life I am used to this and it causes me very little worry. But sometimes fears can arise, seemingly out of nowhere and what felt safe yesterday can suddenly feel uncomfortably dangerous.

It is right to acknowledge that being in and around road traffic is potentially dangerous. But at the same time, I don’t want to be so aware of this danger that I can’t live in a place with lots of public roads and cars. After all, this is an everyday situation for me to be in nowadays. And I don’t want to be trapped inside the house unable to move about in the world because of these fears.

But sometimes it’s important to acknowledge that the things I am afraid of really do deserve a certain amount of anxiety. For example, it’s perfectly reasonable that if I experienced a near miss once on a road (and who hasn’t?!) I might feel some anxiety each time I am in a similar or related situation.

After such near misses, things which once felt safe as part of a much-repeated routine can suddenly feel a lot less safe. And when things don’t feel so safe our subconscious minds accompany the feelings of anxiety with uncomfortable physical sensations. And this is part of the job of our subconscious minds. When we feel those uncomfortable physical sensations the subconscious mind is reminding us of danger, in order to help keep us safe.

Becoming aware of these fears and the uncomfortable physical sensations which go with them is a good place to start if we want to calm our subconscious minds and find more of a sense of perspective around our everyday fears.

Looking at things more objectively

It is a very powerful way into healing our fears to actually name them to ourselves. For example, we might say to ourselves, “Yes, I did have a near miss on a road once but I have been around busy roads for most of my life and nearly all of that time I have been safe.”

Once we have put our fears into a larger context like this we can then spend some time paying attention to positive, pleasant sensations in the breath, gently taking stock and allowing our thoughts and feelings to process and settle a little.

What’s the history of these fears?

At the same time, if I am consistently worried about a particular kind of event or activity it can also be useful to think through other times in my life when I have felt this worry and to try to remember what was going on at the time.

Sometimes the sensations of worry I experience are messages from my subconscious mind to pay attention to something, to remember something and to start treating myself with care and respect around this memory.

When I acknowledge these memories and sit quietly with them, insights can sometimes appear which are truly transformational…

Healing past traumas

Sometimes what my subconscious mind is trying to remind me about is a past traumatic experience.

It is often a good idea to reach out for help if this is the case but you can also give yourself a bit of psychological first aid whenever feelings of worry arise, seemingly from nowhere, about a memory.

When this happens, notice that right now there is no imminent danger. There is no need to worry. Then give yourself permission to let go of outer concerns for a short while and pay attention to sensations in your body instead, particularly sensations of tightness. Notice where these are. Then spend some time releasing and relaxing all the muscles of your body, starting at the crown of the head and slowly working down through the body until you reach your toes.

(Photo by Karsten Würthe on Unsplash)